Damage
by eorocks
Summary: Olivia and Elliot have had their fights over the years; said some nasty things to each other. But what if one of these times, they went to far? It cut too deep? Can their partnership survive? Their friendship? Will the truth finally come out?
1. Chapter 1

Watching Olivia lose control was amazing and frightening at the same time.

She was drunk and dancing with some friends of Fin's. He watched her for a minute, seeing a side of her he'd never seen before. She was laughing…and he watched her, rarely seeing her unguarded like this before. He liked to think that maybe she'd been this carefree at some point in her life, or that she could have been if the circumstances of her life had been different.

He had seen her a little tipsy…maybe even flirting with drunkenness, but only in a few circumstances. Her need for control meant those times were few and far between. And when she did throw caution to the wind, it was only because she knew Elliot had her back.

But not this time. This time, Elliot was the _last_ person she wanted to see.

Which is what scared the hell out of him. She had purposefully gone to Fin's party without him and had obviously wasted no time getting drunk. And while she trusted Fin nearly as much as him…it was totally uncharacteristic of her.

"Hey man." Fin walked up to where he was standing in the foyer, hidden from view from most of the partygoers. He had his hands up, palms open. "You have to go." He nodded towards the door at Elliot's back.

Elliot held his ground. "You invited me to the party."

"Well, now you're uninvited. Liv doesn't want you here."

"She said that?"

"As a matter of fact…she did."

Elliot shook his head. He knew she had been pissed today when they argued…when she had turned her back on him and left the squad room. But that's what they did. They fought and raged and then went to their respective corners. They cooled off, licked their wounds, and then got over it. They didn't bring it up or rehash it. They put it in the past and moved forward, forgiving each other for their biting comments and nasty jabs.

But deep down, he knew today had been different. He had crossed the line. He had seen it on her face as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Her body language changed, and he had watched a look of pain flash across her face. Then...in an eerily calm voice…she told him to fuck off. And then she turned and left.

He should have gone after her. He should have apologized. But he hadn't, hoping that she would cool down if he gave her some time and space. Pretending that it wasn't different than the millions of other times they'd fought.

He'd made a mistake.

"You really think you can just show up here like nothing happened?" Fin had been in the squad room today. "You're an asshole and she's tired of your shit. She's blowing off some steam."

"She's drunk."

"Damn straight." Fin said, crossing his arms in front of him.

Elliot knew Fin would pick Olivia over him every day, but he needed to talk Fin into letting him stay.

"I just…" He needed to choose his next few words carefully. "I'll stay away from her. I won't even talk to her. I just want to make sure she's OK."

"You saying you don't think I'm watching out for her?" Fin was almost as fiercely protective of Olivia as he was. They all were. "Everyone here knows she's off-limits."

"Fin." Elliot could hear the pleading in his voice, hoping he would relent. He looked over Fin's shoulder and he could see Olivia was still dancing with the same guy, whose arm was looped loosely around her waist and drifting way too close to her ass for his liking. "If she's off limits, why does that guy have his hand on her ass?"

Fin didn't even turn around, which pissed Elliot off. He stood there with his lips pressed together, glaring at Elliot. "I'm done talking to you. Get the fuck out."

The music ended just as Fin spoke, and they drew the attention of everyone in the other room. He saw Olivia turn, her smile turning into an expression of anger almost instantaneously.

"Olivia." Elliot yelled out, hoping she would come over to talk to him…to yell at him…to slap him in the face. Anything to get her over here so he could get past Fin and get her out of here.

He could see that her eyes were slightly glazed…and she was covered in a light sheen of sweat from the dancing and the warmth of the room. She glared at him from where she stood, despite others moving around her, and he wondered what was going through her mind right now.

Then he saw a small smile play across her lips and he felt a shimmer of hope; maybe she'd go with him willingly and he could get her home safely.

But his hopes were dashed as she grabbed a bottle of something dark from the hands of someone standing near her, brought it to her lips, and took a long drink. She swiped her hand across her mouth when she was done, gave him another small smile, and then turned her back to him as she set the bottle down. The music had started again as he had watched the scene play out, and Olivia began dancing with the people next to her…never looking back.

Elliot watched for a second, overcome with an urge to push his way past Fin and the crowd in the next room, throw her over his shoulder and carry her out of there.

The man that Olivia had been dancing with when he first walked in was coming across the room now, and he sidled up to stand next to Fin. He was imposing…standing several inches taller than Elliot, and was obviously a fan of the gym. He crossed his arms, mimicking Fin's stance.

"Is there a problem here?" he asked, looking between Fin and Elliot.

"No problem." Fin said. "He was just leaving."

Elliot knew he had lost the battle. He started to turn towards the door, but before he had turned completely, his eyes connected with Fin's. "Make sure she gets home safely…"

Fin nodded and then Elliot slammed the door behind him.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia watched as Elliot left and she smiled again, happy that Fin had listened to her and hadn't let Elliot into his apartment. She had seen the anger in Elliot's stance…in the set of his jaw…and she was glad. Self-righteous son-of-a-bitch didn't get his way this time.

Part of her wished Fin had let him in. Just so she would have had the chance to walk up to him and slap him hard across the face. He had earned it.

 _Olivia, you don't know what it's like to love someone like that. To be willing to give your life for them._

He couldn't have been more wrong.

She _did_ know. She did.

She did it every damned day.

He should have known…he should know. The fact that he could say something like that to her…cut her so deeply and walk away...

 _Olivia, you don't know what it' like to love someone like that._

Olivia shook her head, trying to erase his words.

"Fuck you Elliot." She said, to no one in particular. She picked up the bottle again and took another drink. She wanted to forget…

Forget how anxious she was to get to work every day just to see him.

Forget how great it felt to be walking together, side-by-side, in perfect sync.

Forget how he always ordered fries so she could steal a few off his plate.

Forget those electric blue eyes and that smile…

She took another drink. _Screw him._ It was clear he didn't know that she'd spent a large part of the last seven years falling in love with him…and that he didn't feel the same way.

She need to just forget.

She saw Fin walking towards her and she put the bottle down.

"You OK Liv?" He asked, looking down at the bottle and back up at her.

"I'm fine." She said. "And thanks." She nodded her head towards the door.

"No problem." Fin hesitated a second. "You want to talk?"

Olivia broke into a smile. The idea of Fin being her shoulder to cry on was hilarious, and she could see he was scared to death that she may actually take him up on his offer. She shook her head, and she lost her balance, swaying on her feet as dizziness overtook her.

Fin put a hand on her shoulder to steady her. "Maybe you should take it easy."

"I don't need anyone else telling me what to do." Olivia said, brushing his hand off her arm. She knew she shouldn't be such a bitch to Fin. He was her friend…he had kept Elliot out.

Elliot.

"Liv…" Fin said, impatience in his voice.

She smiled. "I'm fine." She had regained her footing and the light-headedness was gone. She was feeling just fine. Great, as a matter of fact.

She was numb…she didn't feel anything.

She wasn't going to waste any more time on someone that didn't feel the same way she did.

She didn't need anyone.

She most certainly didn't need _him_.

She swiped angrily at a tear that had escaped from her lower lashes.

No, she didn't feel anything.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot sat on his couch…he paced the room…he texted Olivia. By 2AM, he was telling her that he knew he was a son-of-a-bitch but could she please just text him back and let him know that she was home safely.

He trusted Fin to keep an eye on her…but Olivia was strong willed. She didn't let people tell her what to do and he could see her telling Fin to mind his own fucking business.

He didn't think she'd try to do anything stupid…like try to get home on her own. She knew the risks. But she also thought she was goddamned invincible. That no one would mess with Badass Benson. Problem was…when she was drunk she wasn't such a badass.

 _Goddamnit._ He launched himself off the couch for the 100th time that night.

Another thought stopped him cold. What if someone besides Fin had brought her home. What if someone at the party had talked his way into her apartment…had kissed her senseless…had taken her to bed? He could imagine her…all big eyes and soft curves and long legs. Any man's dream. She was too drunk to consent…but it wouldn't matter. No man would be able to resist her.

He couldn't sit in his apartment for one more minute.

He swiped his keys off the small table in the foyer, and reached for his gun. He thought better of it, and set his gun back down on the table. With the mood he was in, he was likely to use it if he found some smooth-talking man had wormed his way into her apartment and her bedroom.

The apartment door slammed behind him as he stormed down the hallway. He was at Olivia's apartment building in ten minutes and luckily found a spot to park just half a block down. He used the key she had given him to let himself in the lobby and practically ran the four floors up to her apartment. When he reached her door, he paused, willing himself to calm down.

He knocked…more loudly than he intended…and waited. As expected, she didn't answer. He knocked again, yelling her name. He was once again met with silence and his annoyance ratcheted up. He pounded more loudly and yelled her name again…wondering if any of the neighbors were calling the police right now, complaining about the lunatic yelling in the hallway at 3AM.

He fingered the key in his hand, waging an internal debate about letting himself in. He told himself that most likely she was passed out inside…totally oblivious to his pounding on the door. He would just let himself in and make sure she was safely in bed…alone. Or that she wasn't lying on the cold tile of the bathroom. She would never even know he was there.

He slid the key into the lock and turned the knob, poking his head into the apartment. There was a single light on in the kitchen and he listened for any sign of life. He didn't hear a word and he slipped inside, closing the door behind him. He debated calling out her name but decided against it as he walked quietly across her living room towards her bedroom door.

He knew he was crossing a big fucking line by letting himself into her apartment…even more so by planning to trespass into her bedroom. But his concern for her welfare trumped any abuse he would suffer at her hands.

He stopped when he saw her bedroom door was open. He hesitated for only a second before he poked his head inside. The ambient light from the kitchen let him see into her room, and he saw her bed was untouched.

"Olivia?" He finally dared to call out her name as he flipped on the light. He strode to the bathroom, but it was clear she wasn't here. He sat down on the edge of her bed as a whole new set of concerns crossed his mind.

He had been fairly certain Fin would get her home. That he would find her here, passed out in her bed. He would lock up her apartment and go home and crawl into bed…finally able to sleep knowing she was safe and sound.

Now…he had no idea what to do.

He wanted to say fuck it…she was a grown woman and she could do whatever the hell she wanted. That whatever trouble she got herself into was because of the choices she'd made tonight.

It wasn't his problem and he didn't care.

But it was his problem. Because he knew that the reason she had decided to go off the deep end tonight was mostly, if not completely, his fault.

And he did care…more than he should. More than she knew. Because he was a spineless asshole and had been too afraid to tell her just what she meant to him.

Elliot pulled out his phone and checked his messages. He hadn't really expected any, but his anger spiked when he confirmed his suspicions. He pulled up her number on speed dial and hit the call button, knowing there was zero chance she would pick up. He hung up in anger when some female voice told him her mailbox was full.

 _No shit_. She must have twenty messages from him alone.

He pushed up off her bed, trying to figure out his next move. She could be anywhere in this damn city, but the best place to start was where his evening had begun. Fin's place.

Before he left, he scribbled a hasty note and left it on the counter. Just in case they crossed paths. He locked the door behind him and headed back to Fin's.

He cursed as he wove through traffic, having to take a small detour due to an accident. By the time he found a place to park and got to Fin's building, it was almost 4AM. He wondered what time the party had ended. For all he knew, it could still be in full swing. He was happy to find that the main door to the building was wedged open and he wondered if that was for easy access for the partygoers. He took the elevator to the 11th floor and was at Fin's door in seconds. He raised his hand to knock when the door opened, and a man came stumbling out, a beautiful woman wrapped around his body. He was kissing her neck and she was laughing and they knocked into him as they exited the apartment. Neither one of them looked up, and Elliot caught the door, poking his head into the apartment.

From this angle, he could see directly into Fin's kitchen, and he could see the counters were lined with empty liquor bottles and beer cans, plastic glasses and plates and half empty trays of food. There were ashtrays overflowing with cigarette butts. There wasn't anyone in the kitchen, but he could hear the music playing low, and the murmur of voices from the next room. He opened the door a little more…just enough to slip his body inside the door… until he was standing in the foyer. He closed the door quietly behind him and hesitated, not sure what his next move was going to be.

He didn't have time to make a decision though before he heard footsteps, and saw Fin walk into the kitchen. He must have caught movement out of the corner of his eye because he turned, catching sight of Elliot. Fin shook his head. "And just what the fuck are you doin' here?"

"Liv's not home. Is she still here?"

"You just don't fuckin' listen man. Get out."

Elliot shook his head. Fin wasn't going to make him leave this time. "Is she here?" Elliot walked into the apartment, headed left into the living room. His eyes circled the room, but he didn't see her sitting amongst the small group of people sitting on the couches and chairs. The music was still playing softly in the background, and there were just as many empty bottles and cans in this room. "Have you seen Olivia?" he asked the woman sitting closest to him.

She gave him a drowsy look. "Who?"

Fin had followed him, and grabbed his arm. "Shit Stabler. Knock it off." He dropped his hand. "OK, she's here." He said begrudgingly. "Now will you leave?"

Elliot breathed out a sigh of relief. _She was here_. But he still wouldn't rest until she was tucked into her apartment, locked up safe and sound. "Where?" His eyes scanned the room again. "I'm taking her home."

"Are you dense? She doesn't want you anywhere near her."

Elliot ignored her and started walking down the hall, where he saw closed doors that he assumed led to bedrooms. "Is she in one of these rooms?" He opened the door to his immediate left and saw a large man lying in the bed, completely naked with his body draped over a woman. He couldn't see her very well as she was partially covered with a blanket and his body, but he saw a head of dark hair.

"Son of a bitch." He knew Fin wasn't keeping his eye on her. Before he could charge in the room, Fin grabbed his arm and yanked him backwards.

"She's in my room."

It took a moment for the words to register. He could have sworn it was Olivia in that bed. But now that he looked more closely, he could see it couldn't be her. This woman had pale skin…

Fin tugged him back into the hallway and closed the door. Fin pointed to the door across the hall and shook his head, walking away in disgust. Elliot didn't waste any time opening Fin's bedroom door, wondering what he would find on the other side.

He saw a king-sized bed that practically took up the entire room…and no Olivia. He stepped into the room, and saw a foot sticking out from behind the bed. He quickly circled the bed and saw Olivia lying in a tangled heap on the floor. She appeared to be out cold.

Elliot tried to wedge himself between her and the bed but there was no room. He placed one foot on each side of her torso, and tried to figure out the best way to pick her up. There was no way to do it tactfully or gently, but he doubted she would complain…or even know. He scooped her up in his arms and headed out of the room. He saw Fin as he walked into the living room.

"How could you let her get this drunk?" he asked, his tone accusatory

"She's a grown woman." Fin followed him to the door. "She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up."

"That's my problem." Elliot said, turning slightly so he could angle them out the door. He was glad that Fin hadn't tried to step in again and stop him from carrying her out. He didn't want to have to get physical with him. If he'd had to, it wouldn't be pretty because he was pissed that Fin had let her get this drunk and hadn't let him intervene earlier.

He made it into the elevator, and then struggled to get her into the back seat of his car. Once he had her buckled in, it took him to another half hour to get to her apartment. And then he had to do the whole thing in reverse.

Olivia wasn't a heavy person, but she was tall and completely dead to the world and he was breathing heavily by the time he reached her apartment. He had to hold her between his body and the wall to get the door unlocked, and he kicked the door closed behind him once he was inside. He made his way through the dark room until he got to her bedroom.

He laid her gently on the bed…and she didn't make a sound. He lifted her legs and pulled down the comforter, prepared to tuck her legs under the covers. He looked at her jean clad legs and debated taking them off to make her more comfortable. Then he decided against it. She was already pissed at him…and would be even more so when she learned that he had dragged her unconscious body out of Fin's. No way she was going to wake up undressed.

He covered her up and leaned over her, but she was still out.

"I'm sorry Liv." He whispered. "What I said today…" He felt like such an asshole. He didn't know why he'd said it. Why he thought it was okay to say things like that to her, and just expect her to take it. Year after year.

Was he so scared of his own feelings that he purposefully tried to drive a wedge between them? Was he so afraid of rejection that he forced her to be the one to push him away?

He owed her an apology. He owed her a million apologies.

Elliot slipped out of the room and closed the door. He paused just outside, trying to decide what to do next. If he left, there was a really good chance she'd never let him in the door again. He wouldn't have a chance to talk to her…to really apologize…for everything. And to tell her how he felt about her.

If he stayed, it was highly likely she'd kick him out anyways. Or punch him in the face.

Either way, he deserved it.

He walked into her living room and stretched out on the couch, just as the first light of day was brightening the sky. He closed his eyes, wondering what the day would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks for all of the reviews! I'm glad you like the story so far. A special note to the guest reviewer that didn't like the story. I love to get reviews, even those that are critical. And I'm sorry if you think that all of my stories are the same, with Olivia being the victim and Elliot being an idiot. I think a fair share of my stories have Olivia doing something stupid (like Deception and Reckoning) but mostly I think they both do stupid stuff all the time, and live in the land of denial. I try to be true to their characters, but I know my stories aren't for everyone. Thanks for giving it a try. Everyone please keep the reviews coming. Your comments always make me think about my writing and I always want to strive to improve!

EOEOEOEO

Olivia opened her eyes slightly, and immediately regretted it. Muted light was streaming into the room from a small opening at the bottom of her blinds, and even though it wasn't very bright, it was like someone had lodged an icepick in her brain.

She slammed her eyes closed again and let out a moan.

She felt like shit. She had broken one of her own cardinal rules, and now she was paying the price. She had only herself to blame.

 _No._ This was Elliot's fault.

If she hadn't been so unbelievably pissed at him. If she hadn't felt the need to just drive every thought of him out of her mind…

She let out another moan. She might be upset with Elliot, but she couldn't blame him for this. She knew better than to try to mute her emotions with alcohol. She had watched her mother do it for years, and look where she ended up. She knew better.

But last night, when his words were still like a razor to her heart, she'd let the voices in her head win out, and now she was being punished for her lack of judgment.

At least she had made it home in one piece.

 _Christ._ How _had_ she gotten home?

She panicked for a moment, hoping that she hadn't done anything incredibly stupid. Like let some strange guy bring her home. It wasn't the kind of reckless behavior she would normally engage in, but with the mood she was in last night, anything was possible.

She did a quick assessment; she still had her clothes on. That was a good sign.

With great pain, she opened her eyes again and looked at the other side of the bed. The sheets were undisturbed; the comforter in place. It appeared that when she got home, she'd made a beeline for her bed, crawled in and passed out.

She tried to think through the sequence of events from the night before. Always a good place to start when you want to retrace your steps. She remembered getting to the party. Then she recalled talking to Fin and making it very clear that she didn't want Elliot anywhere near her. There was some drinking, some dancing, and then Elliot showed up. After that, it became a little blurrier. She remembered playing a drinking game, and losing, resulting in several downed shots. Her stomach roiled at the thought. She could almost taste the alcohol going down her throat.

Then she felt that quickening in her throat…the warning that everything was coming up. She lurched out of bed, almost tripping as her legs got tangled in the sheets. She made it to the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot heard her feet hit the ground, and he sat up quickly. The next thing he heard was her retching in the bathroom and he winced. He sat still, unsure as to what to do. He wanted to help her because he knew exactly how she was feeling. Like shit. But he knew she probably wasn't going to react well to his being in her apartment, and would probably be even angrier at him for being witness to one of her worst moments.

So, he sat in place, grimacing as she continued to get sick.

He should have put a glass of water by her bed. And some ibuprofen.

He should have tried to wake her last night and made her take some before she went back to sleep.

There were a lot of things he should have done. Or should have done differently.

He listened, but heard only silence. Either her stomach was empty or she had passed out on the floor of the bathroom.

Now he didn't know what to do. There wasn't protocol for dealing with your hungover, sick partner who was pissed as hell at you.

He couldn't sit here any longer when he knew she was suffering in the other room. He pushed himself up off the couch and padded quietly into the kitchen. He heard the toilet flush just as he started to fill up a glass with water. He opened a few cupboards, but didn't see any meds. He was assuming that if she even had any pain reliever, it would be in the bathroom.

He moved towards her bedroom and was just about to knock lightly on the door when Olivia came stumbling out of her room and slammed right into him. "Fuck!" She let out a small yell of surprise as the cold water from the glass splashed over both of them, and Elliot took a few steps back. He saw her trying to focus, a look of confusion on her face as she tried to make sense of who was standing in front of her.

Olivia sputtered when she realized it was Elliot standing there. Her hand went to her chest, pulling her wet shirt away from her skin. "What the hell?" Then she lifted her other hand to her head and closed her eyes. Every sound made her feel queasy…she didn't want to even talk much less yell.

Elliot stood still. He could see the pain etched in her features, and he knew her headache must be killing her. "I was bringing you some water." He said quietly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she brushed by him. She winced at the sound of her own voice, even though her tone was still muted. She needed something to drink, some ibuprofen and more sleep. In that order. What she didn't need was Elliot in her apartment.

Elliot followed her into the kitchen and watched as she took a dish towel and pressed it against her shirt, trying to soak up some of the excess water. She made a small sound of disgust as tossed the towel in the sink. Then she pulled another glass from the cupboard and filled it with cold water. She opened a small cabinet above the sink…one he hadn't looked in…and pulled out a bottle of Motrin. He watched as she downed a couple and finished the entire glass of water.

Olivia set the glass on the counter and braced her arms against the edge of the sink, waiting to see if she was just going to throw up the meds she'd just taken. She didn't even look at Elliot, and she wasn't going to. She was way too hungover to deal with him right now. She couldn't muster up enough energy to delve into what the hell he was doing there or yell about his obvious decision to just let himself in…or any of the million other things she wanted to rant about. Maybe if she just ignored him, he would get the message and go away.

"I was worried about you."

Olivia sighed. _No such luck_. She held up her free hand as she walked past him. "I really don't want to hear your justification for breaking into my apartment right now." She kept walking towards her bedroom, completely dismissing him. To his credit, he didn't say anything else, and she closed her bedroom door behind her. She set down the glass of water on her nightstand, and it took all of her remaining energy to peel her t-shirt over her head and wiggle her jeans over her hips. She left them on the floor and crawled into bed, pulling the comforter over her head to block out the light.

She closed her eyes, but her head was throbbing. Her stomach was still unsettled, and she rolled over on her side, placing her hand against her abdomen.

She just needed to sleep.

Elliot stood in the kitchen as Olivia disappeared into her bedroom. He hadn't said anything he had wanted to say, but then again, she had made it pretty clear she wasn't in the mood for discussion. He understood. She had just spent the last twenty minutes hunched over a toilet bowl.

But now he didn't know what to do. She was obviously annoyed that he was there, but she hadn't exactly told him to leave. He scrubbed his hands over his face. He hadn't slept since he had brought her back to her apartment, so he hadn't slept all night. He had been too busy listening for any sign of life from her.

He headed back to the couch and stretched out, letting out a heavy sigh as he closed his eyes.

He just needed to sleep.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia opened her eyes slightly, testing the waters. Her headache was marginally better, and while her stomach was feeling a little unsettled, it was nothing like it had been when she woke up this morning. She opened her eyes completely and shifted, looking at the clock on the nightstand. It was just a little before noon, so she'd been out for another six hours.

She ran her tongue against her teeth and grimaced. She was incredibly thirsty and she needed to brush her teeth. She propped herself up and grabbed the glass of water, downing it all. She set the glass down on pushed herself up so she was sitting on the bed, and then sat for a moment, letting her body and brain adjust. Hangovers sucked and she chastised herself again for letting this happen.

After a few moments, Olivia swung her legs out of bed and placed her feet on the floor. She saw her jeans on the floor and she leaned over to scoop them up, fishing for her phone in her pocket. She hoped to God Cragen hadn't called. She was off this weekend, but that never stopped him for calling her in if something happened. Of course, he would have called Elliot and Elliot would have gotten a hold of her.

 _Elliot._

 _No._ She was going to have an Elliot free day today. She wasn't going to think about him. She wasn't going to talk to him. She was going to keep the commitment she'd made to herself last night. And that was to put any romantic notions she had about him in the past. Move on. She had obviously been delusional in interpreting what she thought were signs that maybe he felt the same way.

If he had any interest in her, he would have done something to change the nature of their relationship once the ink on his divorce papers was dry. She was an idiot to have kept hanging on to the notion that they could be more.

She opened her phone and saw 20 missed calls and 10 text messages. She rolled her eyes, knowing before she even opened them that they were probably all from Elliot. She closed her phone and threw it on the bed. She wasn't even going to look.

She pushed herself up off the bed and walked slowly into the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face and pulled out her toothbrush. As she brushed her teeth, she looked back at her phone as it lay on the bed.

 _No_. She wasn't going to read his texts or listen to the voicemails. She didn't care what they said.

An image of his face at the party last night popped into her head.

 _No._ This was an Elliot free day. She spit into the sink, wiped her face and hands on the towel, and looked at herself in the mirror. God, she looked like shit. She had shed her clothes, so she was just wearing her bra and underwear, and she noticed a bruise on her upper arm. She fingered it, wondering how she had gotten it. _Probably running into something_.

She should take a shower, but it seemed like a lot of effort. Especially since she was probably just going to crawl back in bed. Her phone was sitting there as she walked back into the bedroom, and she grabbed it angrily as she sat back on the bed.

 _OK. I'm just going to read through these and listen to the voicemails and then delete them. Just in case it was work-related._

Which was absolute bullshit and she knew it. They wouldn't be work-related.

She thumbed open her text messages and saw that one was from Fin.

 _Call me when you wake up tomorrow. Just want to see how u doing._

She smiled. Fin was a good friend. She hit reply. _I feel like shit but I deserve it. Thanks for getting me home._

Olivia opened the string from Elliot next and braced herself. They started out simply enough, and she could see from the time stamp that they were roughly ten minutes apart.

 _Just want to make sure you got home safely. Text me._

 _Text me back. Just need to know you're OK._

 _Come on. Just want to make sure you're OK._

 _Liv. I know you're mad but I'm worried. Just tell me you're home._

The nature of the messages changed then, and she could tell he was getting pissed that she wasn't answering.

 _Just tell me to fuck off or whatever. Just something please._

 _Going out of my mind here._

 _Olivia. Answer me. Just tell me you're home._

As if using her full name would let her know that he was SERIOUS now.

 _OLIVIA!_

That was the last message. She wondered if that was when he had resorted to calling. As she thumbed open her phone app, she saw she had 15 missed calls and only 5 voicemails.

"Liv. I know you're pissed but I can't reach you and I just want to make sure you got home OK. You don't need to call me back. Just text me back and tell me you're home."

"Liv, it's me again. I haven't heard back from you. I know you're mad, but I'm worried. You were drunk at Fin's and I just need to know you made it home."

"Olivia. Please don't do this. If I don't hear back from you in the next five minutes, I'm going to go over to your apartment."

The next voicemail was scarcely two minutes later. So much for waiting for five minutes.

"OK, I'm coming over. And you can't be mad at me for showing up because you're the one not answering."

She could hear the concern in his voice, and for a moment, she felt bad about making him worry.

"You are really pissing me off. I'm letting myself in your apartment and you'd better be there. I mean, I hope you're there."

She could hear the anger in his voice, probably borne of frustration. But she also heard the ultimatum. You'd better be there.

The sympathy she'd felt for making him worry turned into anger. She didn't answer to him. She could do whatever the hell she wanted. She didn't need a babysitter. He was overreacting and pulling this overprotective bullshit and it pissed her off. She didn't belong to him and she wasn't his responsibility.

When she had seen him standing in her apartment this morning, she hadn't been able to fully process why he was there. He had obviously let himself into her apartment. Had he sat there until she made it home? Presumptuous son-of-a-bitch.

Olivia lay back down on the bed and let out a small groan. So far, her Elliot free day wasn't going very well. She pulled the phone back in front of her face, and deleted the messages and the voicemails.

That made her feel marginally better. She sat back up. She needed some food and some more water. She pulled on her robe on over her bra and underwear, and tied the sash. She opened her door and padded out into the living room. As she rounded the corner of the couch, she let out a small yell as she jumped back.

Goddamn Elliot was stretched out, sleeping on her couch.

When he heard her yell, he startled awake and sat up quickly. "Liv."

So much for her Elliot free day.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Thanks for hanging in there with this story. Sometimes these two can't get their shit together._

EOEOEOEO

Olivia's quickly dropped her hands to the sash of her robe, tightening it to make sure she was covered as she saw Elliot's eyes drop down and then quickly return to meet hers. She really hadn't been expecting company, and his presence here astounded her.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" she asked. She took a few steps back, distancing herself from him as he swung his legs off the couch and sat up more fully. "I thought I told you to leave." She brought her other hand to her forehead, wincing as she felt her headache suddenly intensify.

"Well, actually, you never really told me to leave." Elliot said. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to take them back. He hadn't meant to sound so cocky, and he could see the look of annoyance on her face. This wasn't how he wanted to start this conversation…which he could see was going to escalate quickly into a confrontation.

Maybe he should have left.

But he couldn't shake this feeling that once he walked out that door, something they had would be irrevocably lost.

Olivia furrowed her brows, amazed by his hubris. She placed one hand on her hip, keeping the other firmly clasped at the opening of her robe. "I never asked you here in the first place! In fact, how dare you come into my apartment uninvited. That is NOT why I gave you a key. Why…" She stopped talking and shook her head slightly, wincing at the pain. She wanted to ask him why he was there in the first place, but she remembered his voicemail from the night before, threatening to show up here. "Never mind." She said.

"I was worried about you." Elliot repeated the phrase he had uttered earlier, ignoring her comment to _never mind_ , and answering the _why_ instead.

"Yeah, well, it's not your job to worry about me." She said, her annoyance ratcheting up a notch. She headed towards the kitchen. She needed something carbonated to drink and she _definitely_ needed more pain meds.

She heard, rather than saw, Elliot get up from the couch and follow her into the kitchen. She opened the door of the refrigerator, ignoring him completely. She hoped to see a can of soda but knew it was highly unlikely for one to magically appear since she didn't drink the stuff on a regular basis. She pushed some jars aside in vain hope that she had something to drink, but slammed the door shut when she couldn't find anything. She turned back to the sink and filled an empty glass with more water, downing it all. She refilled it and took some more ibuprofen, setting the glass on the counter as she kept her back to him.

"You were drunk." Elliot asked. "You know as well as I do what can happen. People don't make good decisions and…"

Olivia turned around quickly…too quickly…and she grabbed at the counter for support. "I know damn well what can happen and I don't need you to tell me. I'm not the same as most people. I understand the risks and I was covered." She leaned back, resting her arms on the counter behind her. Then she realized her robe was probably gaping open and she corrected her stance, wrapping her arms loosely around her waist.

"You were covered?" he asked. "What does that mean?" He knew she had no idea how she got home last night and while he didn't want to start a fight, he intended to let her know just how wrong she was.

"Fin was there. When I realized I was starting to get drunk, we talked and he said he had my back." She had a vague memory of Fin telling her that maybe she should slow down…but it was fuzzy. "I made it home just fine without you."

"So you remember coming home?" he challenged, even though his brain was telling him to let it go. _Just let it go and talk to her_. Tell her what he wanted to say. But she was the one pushing the point, and he needed to let her know exactly why his actions were justified.

"Of course I remember coming home." She pushed herself off the counter and started to head out of the kitchen. "I wasn't _that_ drunk." She tried to brush past him but he didn't move. She considered pushing his bulk out of the way, but instead she chose to glare at him, and he moved slightly to let her pass. She was walking into the living room as he stood rooted in place, but she wasn't more than two feet away when he spoke again.

"Is that why I found you passed out in Fin's bedroom?"

She froze. _Goddamnit_. She didn't remember that. The part of the evening after the round of shots was a blank. She wondered briefly if he was bluffing, but she knew he probably wasn't. Before she could think of a retort, he spoke again.

"Is that why I picked you up and carried you out of there and you never woke up once?"

Olivia didn't turn around, absorbing his words.

"Is that why I drove you home, carried you all the way to your apartment, and put you to bed and you were _still_ passed out?"

Olivia had heard enough. She whirled around, her anger consuming her. "You son-of-a-bitch. So what if I was passed out at Fin's? I was _passed out_. I wasn't leaving. I wasn't walking home alone or doing anything reckless. I would have woken up in the morning, feeling just as shitty as I do right now, and I would have come home." She marched up to him, and it took all her willpower not to slap him. "How dare you walk into Fin's and carry me out of there." The thought of it…she felt so humiliated.

"You don't know what could have happened while you were passed out." Elliot said, still feeling righteous about his decision to get her out of there.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You're so arrogant. Do you think you're the only one that had my best interest at heart? I trust Fin."

"I trust Fin too but…"

"But what?" Olivia challenged. She knew he didn't have anything left to argue. She'd been perfectly safe at Fin's and there was no logical reason for him to carry her out of there. "You just decided you knew what was best for me? Better than anyone else?"

"I know you better than anyone. So…yes." He shook his head. "I wanted you home, where there would be no chance anything could happen to you."

" _You_ wanted…" She pressed her lips together. "I guess that says it all. _You_ wanted…"

"Liv." Elliot said, trying to reason with her. "That's not what I meant. I meant…"

"No, I think you meant what you said. You know what's best for me."

"That is NOT what I said." She was twisting his words.

"I think it is. You're an asshole."

"What?" He scrubbed one hand over his head. "I care about your well-being. I wanted to make sure you get home safely. And I'm an asshole?"

Olivia pressed her palms against her temples. It was obvious that he wasn't going to relent. He thought he was right and he really didn't understand why she was upset. He had crossed so many lines that she didn't even know where to start. And she was too fucking hungover to deal with it today. "You're not listening to me." She just wanted to shut down but she couldn't seem to let go of her anger. "You just _do_ and say whatever you want to. And I'm just supposed to take it."

"Are you talking about what happened last night? Or about our disagreement yesterday afternoon?"

Olivia was incredulous, focused on the last part of his question. "Disagreement?" She said in disbelief. "Disagreement?" The volume of her voice had risen again. "It wasn't a disagreement. It was _you_ …telling _me_ why I was wrong." She pressed her hands against her chest. "And why I was incapable of understanding. Like you've done so many times before." She was on a roll now. It was going to all come out. All the words she'd bitten back before. Every retort she held in to avoid an argument. "I don't have kids, so I can't possibly understand. I've never been married…" She held up her fingers as she rattled off all the things he had thrown at her. "I've never been in a long-term relationship…I've never…

Elliot took a few steps towards her, holding up his hands. "Stop." He froze when he saw her take a step back, away from him. "Please stop." He couldn't argue with anything she'd said, and it made him feel even worse. For him, they had been passing comments said in the heat of a disagreement…an argument over a case. When they'd gotten it out of their systems, he forgot about it and moved on. But if she had catalogued these things…that meant they'd really stuck with her. That he hurt her in some way. He put his hands down. "I shouldn't have said those things."

Olivia shook her head. "But you did." She pushed her hair back from her face and let out a small sound of exasperation. "I've put up with it for years, thinking maybe you were right, but now I'm tired of it. Because this time, you couldn't be more wrong."

Elliot furrowed his brow. "This time?" He didn't know what she was referring to. His actions last night? His opinion in their last argument? Something from this discussion? This conversation was spiraling out of control and he didn't know how to get back on solid ground…to turn the conversation to what he really wanted to say.

Olivia looked away, frustrated at the confused expression on his face. Was he honestly struggling to understand what she was saying? She ignored his question and took a step towards him, making sure his eyes connected with hers. "I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm sick of you deciding what's best for me. I'm tired of you acting like we're…" She didn't finish that thought. "I am not one of your daughters. I am not your wife. We work together. And when we leave work, we're just…" She dropped her eyes and turned away from him. She was emotionally and physically spent. She was even more angry that she'd allowed herself to get into this with him. She had intended to get him out of her apartment and to go back to bed…leave this discussion for another day. A day when her head wasn't pounding and she didn't feel like she could throw up at any second.

Elliot took a step towards her. "We're just…what?" He could tell she was exhausted…exasperated. He felt bad pushing her, but he thought maybe she had just given him an opening…a chance for them to have a real conversation.

"Nothing." She said quietly. The truth in that word hit her full force…because it was true. It was the cold, hard reality she had been dealing with last night.

"Nothing?" He furrowed his brows. "Do you really believe that?" He reached for her then, placing a hand on her shoulder. He was surprised when she turned around, and he dropped his hand, the feel of it against the silk of her robe feeling oddly intimate.

Olivia let out a heavy sigh. "It is what it is Elliot." She took a few steps and sat down on the couch, curling her legs beneath her and settling her robe over her bare legs. She looked down at her hands lying loosely in her lap. She wanted to scream at him…tell him that for years, she thought it was so much more.

Elliot started down at her, making sure he had eye contact. The tone of her voice sent chills through him. She sounded so…resigned. "I don't know what that means."

The argument yesterday had cut her to the core…it had just been the final straw. Years of hoping…wanting. The reality crashing into her that the special connection she thought they shared was non-existent. Or very one-sided.

The memories of the last seven years rolled through her mind. The time spent together…fighting for victims…chasing down perps…solving cases together. Lunches…dinners…late nights…catching a few hours of sleep in the cribs. The laughter…the fights. All of it rolled together. Their lives had been irrevocably intertwined. But she had mistaken their camaraderie for something more.

"I can't do this anymore." She said softly. She could feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes and she clenched her teeth together.

Elliot felt panic grip him. "Liv…what are you saying?" What the hell did she mean?

Olivia pushed herself off the couch. Her stomach was roiling…the combination of too much alcohol, too little food, too many pain meds, and this discussion…it was all making her sick again and she clutched at her stomach. "Go home." She pushed past Elliot and into her bedroom, determined to keep it together in front of him.

"Olivia. I'm not leaving. We need to talk…" He watched her rush to her room, never looking back. She slammed her bedroom door behind her, making it clear that the discussion…or whatever it had been…was over.

Olivia barely made it into her bathroom before she was leaning over the toilet again. This time, she let the tears fall.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia sat back on the cold tile, wiping her face with some wadded up toilet paper _. I'm never drinking again_. She leaned back against the wall, waiting to see if she was going to throw up again. Her stomach felt better and she thought that was probably the end of it. She turned her head to her left, eyeing the shower. A warm shower would feel good right now. Shower. Food. Sleep.

She pushed herself up off the floor, happy that her stomach didn't start churning and her head didn't start spinning. She loosened the sash and let her robe slip off her shoulders. She reached in and started the shower, letting it warm up while she took off her bra and underwear. A small moan escaped as she stepped into the hot water. It felt so good.

She dropped her head and closed her eyes, letting the water cascade down her body. She rolled her neck back and forth, trying to release the tension from her confrontation with Elliot. She was still mad at herself for getting into it with him. When she had told herself yesterday that she needed to move on…to lock away her feelings for him and concentrate on just being his partner…she had expected to have a few days to prepare herself. Not a few hours.

She was still frustrated that he didn't understand why she was angry. Maybe because he did know her well, and most likely knew there was something else at the root of it. She'd almost said it…when she told him she couldn't do this anymore and he asked her to explain…

Her traitorous body had intervened, forcing her to run out of the room.

Maybe it was for the best.

If she told him how she felt, he'd probably be in Cragen's office so fast it would make her head spin. She didn't want that. Not anymore.

At first, that's exactly what she wanted. To transfer out…get a new partner. Get away from him. From the constant reminder of what she couldn't have.

But sometime over the course of last night, she had decided that she couldn't bear it. That she'd rather be his partner than be nothing at all.

How pathetic was that?

Maybe she should revisit her decision. Making life choices when you're drunk isn't always the best idea. But even now, when she was stone cold sober, she knew she wouldn't leave him.

She _couldn't_ leave him.

So, she would never tell him. She didn't have to see him again until Monday. She would just pretend like this entire weekend never happened…that they hadn't fought. They'd go along like before.

That was for the best.

Olivia shampooed her hair, soaped her body and stood under the hot spray until it was barely warm and her tears were gone.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot heard Olivia getting sick again. He walked up to her bedroom door, but hesitated. She was already so angry with him, even more than before. It wasn't his place to invade her privacy. Again.

He felt horrible about how he had handled everything this afternoon. If he had any balls, he would have told her the real reason he felt so protective of her, instead of all defending his right to do so. It didn't have to do with thinking she was incompetent…he thought she was one of the bravest, capable people he knew. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that she was drunk and in potential danger...he knew Fin was watching out for her. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that he had to be right and had to show her who was in charge…he was arrogant but he knew she was smarter than he was.

The real reason was that he loved her. She was everything to him.

And now, by acting like an idiot…by arguing with her instead of telling her what was in his heart…the only thing he'd done is push her away.

He didn't know what to do now. She wasn't feeling well, and she was pissed as hell, so it probably wasn't the time to bare his soul.

What if she didn't feel the same way he did?

He wasn't certain how she felt. Olivia had never given him any tangible indication that she felt anything for him, and it was one of the reasons he'd let things stay the same.

 _I can't do this anymore_.

Her words ran through his mind, and he could hear pain in them. Resignation. That alone made him think they maybe…just maybe…she felt the same as he did.

If she didn't, it would crush him. He wondered if he could handle her rejection. He had a picture of them in his mind…of kissing her…holding her in his arms. Some days, he thought about it so much that he ached for it to be real.

If she pushed him away…could he just be happy being partners with her? Would it be better to be partner and friends than nothing at all?

Maybe it was too big of a risk.

No, he wasn't going to let this weekend pass without telling her how he felt. He may have to give her some time to sleep…to recover…before they could have the conversation.

But they were going to talk…consequences be damned. He had to know.

The sound of water broke through his thoughts. The shower. He took that as a good sign. Hopefully she was feeling better. He walked away from the door and into the living room, thinking about how this was going to play out.

He had to take it slowly. Apologize for the things he had said to her, and for how he had handled last night. End the argument between them. Smooth things over.

Then maybe she would listen to him.

Elliot walked into the kitchen. He realized she may feel better if she had something to eat. He dug in the refrigerator and found some eggs and enough vegetables to make an omelet. Fortunately for him, living alone had forced him to learn how to cook, and while he wouldn't win any awards, he was good enough.

He set to work, listening for the shower to stop so he could time everything. She was in there a long time, but when he finally heard the water stop, he started cooking.

He just hoped she wouldn't kick him out once and for all when she found he was still in her apartment.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia towel dried her hair, rubbed lotion on her body and brushed her teeth. Physically, she was feeling a lot better than she had when she first woke up this morning. Emotionally…well, the jury was out on that one.

She walked into her bedroom and grabbed a pair of underwear and leggings. She pulled them on, and then pulled a ribbed tank top over her head. She opened her closet door and grabbed a gray zip-up hoodie, but she put it back. It had been Elliot's and she wore it often. But not today. She found al light blue sweatshirt, and zipped it up halfway. She was going to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Or maybe take a nap. But first, she had to find something to eat. Now that she was feeling better, she actually felt a little hungry.

She paused for a moment. Now that she was thinking about food…

Did she smell eggs?

She whipped open her bedroom door and walked into the living room. She froze when she saw Elliot standing in her small kitchen with his back to her.

"Elliot." She could tell she had startled him when she yelled his name because he dropped the spatula he had been holding in his hand. He turned around quickly, and then turned back to what he was doing.

"Perfect timing."

He turned around and Olivia saw he was holding two plates in his hands. "What are you doing?"

"I made breakfast. Well, brunch. I figured you'd be hungry." He gave her a small smile. "Are you feeling better? Can you eat something?" He walked around the counter and headed towards the small table tucked into the corner of her living room. He was determined not to let her get him riled up again.

Elliot set the plates down on the table and turned back towards her. He could see she was still standing in the same place, and he took a moment to look at her standing there. Her hair was still wet, and was curling slightly at her shoulders. She didn't have any make-up on, and was dressed in simple black leggings and a sweatshirt. Her feet were bare and he swore he could smell her lotion or soap or shampoo…maybe all three…from here. Despite the scowl on her face, she looked amazing to him. A natural beauty.

Olivia saw Elliot watching her, and she couldn't believe he had a small smile on his face. It was almost as if nothing had happened…no words spoken in anger…no yelling…no disagreement. She took a few steps towards him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I made breakfast." Elliot motioned toward the table, trying to keep the mood light.

"I mean, what are you doing here?"

"Making breakfast." He couldn't help but grin at his answer.

"I thought I made it very clear that you should leave." He was trying to be cute and it was throwing her off. She crossed her arms in front of her, suddenly unsure of what to do next.

"I told you I wasn't leaving until we talked." Elliot said, taking a step in her direction. He bit the inside of his cheek. _Don't aggravate her_.

"I don't want to talk."

Elliot took a step in her direction and held up his hands. "OK. We don't have to talk." He paused for a second. "Just…let's just have breakfast and I can apologize for being an asshole."

Olivia's stomach rumbled and she cursed under her breath. Suddenly, she was starving and it smelled so good. And he looked so damned cute standing there. "You're going to apologize?" That would be a first.

He smiled then. He knew he had her. At least through breakfast. "I am."

Olivia dropped her arms. "I didn't know you could cook." She took a few steps towards the table, and she watched as Elliot backed up, giving her space.

Elliot shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not promising it's good." He sat down in the chair closest to kitchen and watched as Olivia slid into the chair across from him.

Olivia picked up a piece of toast and took a bite, nervous that her stomach wasn't going to take it. But that first bite seemed to go down without any issues, so she took a few more bites. She dug into her eggs next, and although she wouldn't admit it to him, they were delicious. It had been a long time since anyone had cooked for her at home.

Elliot watched her eat, and was glad that she seemed to be enjoying it. She stopped suddenly and looked back at him.

"You're not going to eat?" she asked, motioning to the untouched plate in front of him. He was staring at her, and it was making her uncomfortable. "Or were you going to apologize first?"

Elliot grinned. She was giving him a hard time, and he took that as a very good sign. She was obviously more relaxed, and he knew that the food was probably helping. "Oh yeah. Well, I don't really know how to apologize…." He was immediately rewarded with a smile and a roll of the eyes and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Figures." Olivia took another bite of eggs. She didn't know why she was relaxed…why she was letting her guard down. This wasn't helping her resolve. But it felt so good. For things to be normal between them. Even if it was just a few stolen minutes, she was going to take it.

And then he was going to have to go.

"Liv." Elliot's voice was soft and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

"El." It was so strange to hear the words, but the vulnerability in his tone threw her.

Elliot reached out and rested his hand on the table between them. "Listen to me. I'm sorry for all the horrible things that I've said to you over the years. I'm sorry if I treated you like anything less than you deserved. I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't trust you, or that you couldn't do your job." He looked into her eyes and he could see she was struggling.

"El. Don't." Olivia said. As much as she hated his arrogance sometimes, to see him laid bare like this was almost more frightening. The man never shared much…and this level of emotion was unprecedented.

"I owe you this." he said. "I don't have any excuse for my behavior and I know I'm a son-of-a-bitch to be around sometimes. Probably most of the time. But I need you to believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt you. Never." He dropped his eyes briefly, and then looked back up at her. "I don't deserve to have a partner like you. You're smarter than me. Fearless. You connect with victims like I can't. You're a better person than me…"

"Please stop." Olivia said breathlessly. An apology she could accept, but she had never handled compliments very well. And this conversation was getting too serious. Too deep. She could tell he felt badly, but honestly, she still wasn't up to this. She wanted to eat breakfast, and then tell Elliot goodbye. Regroup for Monday. "Apology accepted." She gave him a tight smile.

"But…"

"Just finish your breakfast."

Elliot paused. He needed to tell her. But before he could say anything else, she was standing up, grabbing her plate from the table. He stood up and blocked her from walking into the kitchen. "Liv." He said, placing a hand on her arm.

She looked up at him. "You made breakfast. I'll clean up." She moved past him and he dropped his hand.

Elliot grabbed his plate from the table and followed her into the kitchen. "I made the mess. And I know you're still not feeling well, so I can do it."

"I feel fine." Olivia said, taking the plate out of his hand. Something about his demeanor…his persistence…was making her uncomfortable. "Besides, it's time for you to go."

Elliot furrowed his brow. He wasn't ready to leave. He wouldn't leave.

Not until he had the chance to say what he needed to say.


	5. Chapter 5

"Elliot." Olivia gave him an exasperated look. "I'm tired." She rinsed off the plates in the sink. "I appreciate breakfast. I really do." She let the dishes clatter in the sink. "But it's really time for you to go."

"Liv."

Olivia turned around and saw him leaning with his back against the counter, directly across from her. She mimicked his stance, crossing her arms under her breasts. It was a déjà vu moment. Hadn't they been in the exact same stance this morning? And hadn't she told him to leave then?

"I'm not ready to leave. Can't we just talk?"

Déjà vu again. How many times had she told him she didn't want to talk?

Elliot could see the that she was getting annoyed again. "OK. We don't have to talk." He saw her relax slightly, and he realized her anger and annoyance was borne of uncertainty. It had been an odd day. His refusal to leave her…his _wanting_ to talk…and his apology to her. Any one of those things was unusual in its' own right. But all three in one day. In one afternoon. They were definitely in uncharted territory.

He watched as she brushed her drying hair back from her face, and she let out a sigh. He could tell she was waiting for him to make the next move. He could see the refusal on her lips as she waited for him to ask if he could stay a little longer. If he asked her for anything.

He had one chance.

He looked down at the floor, trying to collect his thoughts. When he'd been thinking about what to say to her, it had sounded so perfect in his head. But now, the words wouldn't come. Telling her that he loved her suddenly seemed inadequate. Those three little words couldn't possibly convey how he felt.

Olivia was watching Elliot. It was obvious that he was struggling with something, and she wondered what in the hell he was going to hit her with now. Whatever it was, she wasn't up for it. She needed space. And time. She was about to tell him to leave once and for all when he lifted his head, and when his eyes connected with hers, she was surprised at the vulnerability she saw there. Her breath hitched slightly and she froze, the words stuck in her throat.

Elliot heard her gasp, and he wondered if she could see the words written on his face. Before he could even think about it, he was moving off the counter and closing the gap between them. He could see the surprise on her face, but it was seconds before he reached her. He stopped then, noticing how she dropped her arms and put her hands on the counter behind her, as if bracing herself for something.

There was less than a foot between them, and he looked back and forth between her eyes. His senses were heightened…the smell of her shampoo, the small breaths escaping from her open lips, the darkness of her eyes that were completely focused on his, and the rise and fall of her chest as her breathing quickened. He could see the emotions running across her face and in her eyes…fear…uncertainty…and something else he couldn't name. But she wasn't pushing him away.

Olivia watched Elliot's eyes. He was close…so close. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. Before she could even begin to think about what he was going to do, he placed his hands lightly against her jaw, framing her face. She startled at his touch, surprisingly light, and then he kissed her.

His kiss was tentative…soft…and he whispered her name right before he pulled her bottom lip between his. He released her lip and then pressed his mouth against hers, tilting her head slightly as he opened her mouth slightly with his.

Elliot couldn't believe he was kissing Olivia…and she was letting him. His left hand slid into her hair, and tangled his fingers in the still damp strands. He felt Olivia's hands on his chest, but she wasn't pushing him away. She was kissing him back now, and her lips were as soft as he had always imagined. She was kissing him hungrily and he felt a pang low in his belly…a small moan escaping before he could stop it.

Olivia's body was tingling. Elliot's kissed her like he knew her…owned her. She brushed her hands across the expanse of his chest, the formerly forbidden territory that had only existed in her dreams. She felt her skin flush, and she was almost embarrassed at her body's reaction to just a few kisses. Then she heard Elliot moan into her mouth, and she knew he was having the same reaction to her.

Elliot felt her hands sliding up his chest and the only thing running through his mind was picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom…all the images from his dreams running like a movie in his head. But he hadn't come here for that. He pulled his hands back and broke the kiss, circling her wrists with his fingers and pulling them from his body.

He looked down at her and saw her red, swollen lips, and the flush of her skin, and he felt another rush of heat…a southerly flow of blood in his body. She was so beautiful…so sexy…and he could see the desire in her eyes.

He closed his eyes briefly. This wasn't about sex. He needed her to know that. He opened his eyes and saw she hadn't moved. She wasn't fighting his hold on her and she wasn't moving, and he assumed she was trying to process what had just happened. It was seconds later when he saw her trying to control her reaction…school her features…and he knew he had seconds to say something.

"Olivia." The words still weren't coming and he was starting to panic. He just needed her to listen. He still had her wrists pinned against his chest and he could feel her tug against his hands. He wanted to tighten his grip and hold her in place, but he had no right to hold her.

"What the hell was that?" She asked breathlessly. She cursed inwardly at the tremor in her voice and the breathy way the words had come out. Olivia pulled her hands from his grip while she waited for him to answer her, but Elliot wasn't saying anything. Confusion swarmed through her as her mind and body warred against each other. She remembered her earlier resolve to push Elliot away, but found herself wanting nothing more than to melt against his body…ask him to kiss her again.

Elliot could hear the disbelief in her voice and the shocked expression on her face…but he couldn't forget the way she'd kissed him back. There was no turning back now. "I know I'm going to mess this up. I'm not very good at this…"

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. Olivia put a hand on his chest and pushed back. "Don't." She whispered. She was terrified of what he was going to say. Even if it was what she had been waiting to hear for a long time.

For some reason, Olivia's reaction gave him the confidence he needed. Maybe because it was expected…something familiar in the way they normally dealt with each other. He maintained his distance, but placed his hands on the counter on either side of her body, caging her in. "Don't what?" he asked quietly.

Olivia didn't say anything. Elliot's proximity and the tone of his voice were making it impossible to focus.

Elliot could tell she was flustered. He leaned in more closely, until his mouth was next to her ear. "Don't what Olivia?" he whispered. He pulled back so he could see her face. "Don't tell you that I love you?"

Olivia breath hitched again. _Had Elliot just told her that he loved her?_

"I love you." He said forcefully. "I want to spend every minute of every day with you. I want to wake up every morning with you curled up beside me. I want to kiss you senseless and hear you whisper my name when I make love to you."

Olivia put two fingers over his lips, cutting off his words. "Elliot." She said softly. She was at a loss for words, still reeling at what he'd said. "I…" She shook her head slightly, unable to form the words. She snaked her right hand up around his neck and pulled his head down until her mouth reached his. She pressed her lips against his, kissing him with a ferocity that surprised even her.

Seconds later, Elliot was pulling his lips from hers and pulling her hand from around his neck. He had both of her hands in his, and he held them as he looked into her eyes. "Say it Olivia." He could tell it was hard for her, but he had bared his soul, and he deserved to hear her say the words. "Tell me how you feel."

Olivia closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She has spent the last several years suppressing all her feelings for him. Denying what she felt. _Was she going to wake up and find this was all a dream?_

She opened her eyes, and stared directly into his. This wasn't a dream. "I love you Elliot Stabler." She said softly. Once she said the words, it was like an emotional dam had burst open. "I've loved you for a long time." She let out a heavy sigh. "God…I can't believe how good it feels to say it."

Elliot smiled. "I was scared to death that you wouldn't."

"I don't know if I would have…if you hadn't said it first." Elliot's words came rushing back to her. It was more than a declaration of love. It was about hopes and dreams…a future for them. "What does this mean?"

"How about we move somewhere more comfortable to talk?" Elliot knew they had a lot to talk about and he didn't want to have this conversation in the kitchen.

Olivia nodded. She pulled her hands from Elliot's and he stepped back, giving her a little space. She grabbed her glass of water as Elliot motioned for her to move into the living room. She took the farthest corner of the couch, and curled her legs beneath her, facing Elliot as he sat on the other end.

Olivia took a sip of water and put it on the coffee table. She looked over at Elliot and saw he was just watching her.

The entire situation felt surreal. Were they really sitting here to talk about a potential future for them?

"Tell me what you're thinking right now." Elliot said. He knew Olivia well, and he knew that right now, her mind was going into overdrive. She was probably telling herself all the reasons there was no future for them. He hoped she would talk to him…and listen to him. Because the hard part was over. "You can't back out now. You already told me you love me."

Olivia smiled, happy that he was trying to keep things light. "I could claim temporary insanity."

Elliot smirked. "Is that what you want to do?"

Olivia shook her head, a smile still on her face. "No."

"OK." Elliot said. That affirmation made him happier than he ever thought possible. "OK."

"So, what happens now?"

"What do you want to happen?" Elliot asked.

Images of Elliot making love to her came unbidden, and Olivia could feel herself blush. She brushed her hair back from her face and looked away briefly, trying to get her more base thoughts out of her mind. This wasn't all about sex…but God help her…she wanted the man.

Elliot smiled. He didn't think he had ever seen Olivia blush before, and he wanted to call her on it. But he didn't. He watched her for a minute as she concentrated on her hands folded in her lap. He leaned over slightly. "Olivia. Look at me."

Olivia lifted her head to look at him.

"I meant what I said. All of it." Elliot said.

"I don't know what that means." Olivia said. "You want to date or are we just sleeping together?"

"God, I hope we're sleeping together." Elliot said with a laugh, and he was glad he saw her smile. "I mean, are the two mutually exclusive?"

"Sometimes." Olivia said.

Elliot shook his head. "Let me be clear Olivia. I want it all. Or whatever you're willing to give me. We can take it as slowly as you want. Whatever pace you want. Hell, I'll marry you tomorrow if that's what you want."

"We can't be partners anymore." Olivia said…as much to herself as anyone else.

"Would you rather be partners? Keep things the way they are?" Elliot hoped to God she didn't say yes, but he had to ask her. He leaned back, waiting for her to answer.

Olivia didn't want the weight of determining what their relationship would be on her shoulders, but she appreciated the fact that Elliot wasn't trying to pressure her. She wanted the same things he did, but there was no protocol for how to move things forward with someone that you'd been in love with for years. She saw him watching her…patiently waiting for her to answer him. She loved him for it, since patience wasn't his strong suit.

"If we keep things the way they are, does that mean no more kissing?" she asked, keeping her face neutral.

Elliot smiled. "No more kissing."

Olivia let her eyes drop from his eyes to his lips, and lingered there. "That was a pretty good kiss."

"It was amazing." Elliot said softly, moving a little closer to her on the couch. "If you want, I could kiss you again. If you're not sure…"

Olivia liked the tease, but uncertainty had never been good for them. It was why things were how they were up to this point. "I want you to kiss me again, but first…" She held out her hand and Elliot took her hand in his. "I want all the same things you do. I don't know how we go forward…how fast or how slow. We're just going to have to figure it out." She squeezed his hand. "OK?"

Elliot nodded. "OK." He moved a little closer. "You don't know how happy that makes me. I didn't want to leave here today until we had a chance to talk, but I have to say, I was scared to death. I know you weren't feeling well, and I couldn't decide if I should stay or…"

"El." Olivia said interrupting him. "Shut up and kiss me."


	6. Chapter 6

From the end of the previous chapter, just in case you forgot where we left off.

 _Olivia liked the tease, but uncertainty had never been good for them. It was why things were how they were up to this point. "I want you to kiss me again, but first…" She held out her hand and Elliot took her hand in his. "I want all the same things you do. I don't know how we go forward…how fast or how slow. We're just going to have to figure it out." She squeezed his hand. "OK?"_

 _Elliot nodded. "OK." He moved a little closer. "You don't know how happy that makes me. I didn't want to leave here today until we had a chance to talk, but I have to say, I was scared to death. I know you weren't feeling well, and I couldn't decide if I should stay or…"_

" _El." Olivia said interrupting him. "Shut up and kiss me."_

EOEOEOEO

Elliot stopped talking and stared back at her. Never in his life did he ever think he'd hear those words coming from her mouth. Still, he couldn't resist teasing her. "Are you always going to be this bossy?"

Olivia started to climb off the couch. "If that's how you're going to be…" She was biting back a smile, enjoying this little game between them. It was nice that they could keep things light, despite the seriousness of the topic. She hadn't made it two steps when she felt Elliot snag her wrist, forcing her to turn around.

"Good thing I like my women bossy." He tugged gently at her arm, forcing her to retrace the steps she'd taken.

"Your _women_?" She raised an eyebrow. She held her ground, her knees bumping against his. "Just how many women are we talking about?" She teased. She didn't think Elliot had really dated anyone in the time he'd been separated, but she wasn't certain. She hadn't ever asked because she hadn't really wanted to know. She had liked to think he was mourning his marriage…justifying why he hadn't done anything to change the nature of his relationship with her. But now his comment peaked her interest.

Elliot leaned forward, grasping her hands in his. "Including you?" he asked, grinning up at her. He let that comment sit there for just a few seconds. "One." He added, with a grin. He wanted to be honest with her, and let her know there was no one else he had even been the least bit interested in. "Only you." His confession made him a little self-conscious. Anyone that knew him would never believe he suffered from any self-doubt, but the truth was that he'd never been in any other relationship besides Kathy, unless you count a few hormonal encounters in his early high school years. The idea of a relationship with Olivia scared him a little. He didn't want to screw it up. He had very little to go on. As close as they were, he didn't really know much about her love life…when she was young or since then. He had no idea of her experiences…and how they related to her expectations.

"Better be." She said, taking on a threatening tone. "Because I have a gun." Olivia bent her right knee and placed it on the couch next to Elliot's left thigh. Then she put her hands on his shoulders and leaned in close, pulling her other knee up on the couch. "Because you're mine." Her lips ghosted over his mouth and she felt him push forward, against her hands, as he tried to get closer. She kept him in place by pressing against him while she inched her knees up the outside of his thighs. "Say it. Say you're mine."

"You're mine." Elliot repeated, completely distracted by the proximity of her mouth and the fact that Olivia was straddling him. _Christ_. She was carefully keeping space between their bodies but he could feel her heat and he was so fucking turned on. This slow tease…

"Cute." Olivia said. "That's really cute."

Elliot slid his hands up the outside of her thighs until they rested in the curve of her waist. "I _am_ pretty damn cute." Olivia pulled her head back and he saw her roll her eyes. He lifted his right hand and cupped her cheek. "And you're fucking beautiful." He slid his fingers into her hair and pulled her face towards his and he felt her arms buckle as she acquiesced. His mouth covered hers and it was seconds before she opened her mouth to him and they were kissing each other without restraint.

Olivia slid her tongue into his mouth and he groaned as their tongues met. It was hard to keep her hands from roaming, so she scraped her nails back and forth across the back of his neck.

Elliot was digging his fingers into the skin at her waist, and Olivia was pretty sure he didn't even realize it. She knew how he was feeling because she felt the same way.

This was _it._ This was _everything_. The beginning of something…and the end of so many things. The end of wondering. The end of waiting.

She moaned into Elliot's mouth as her thoughts fueled her passion even more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts into his chest. He grunted as she did, and although her sweatshirt was masking her peaked nipples…he had to be able to feel her desire. It was instantaneous…her bodies reaction to just a few kisses. She was getting so wet and there was already a slow, steady throb between her legs. To say she wanted him didn't even begin to describe that delicious ache. She wanted to lower her body…she knew he had to be hard…and she wanted to feel the length of him pressed intimately against her.

Elliot broke the kiss and took a much needed breath, and Olivia dropped her head back slightly as she gasped for breath as well. Elliot wasted no time dropping his lips to her neck, and he sucked at the sensitive skin there…marking her without pause. He slid his hand from her hair and down her right arm…and it took all his willpower not to drag his hand across her breast. He grasped her waist again while he kept kissing her neck…and Olivia was letting out small moans that were driving him insane. He wanted to pull her down against him…feel her heat. As if she had read his mind, Olivia picked that moment to lower herself against him. He groaned against her skin and he heard a similar sound from her. Low…husky. The sound sent another rush of heat through his body, and he couldn't help but thrust up against her as she ground herself against him.

 _Fuck_.

The only thing he could think about at this moment was picking her up, tearing her clothes off and burying himself deep inside of her. He had often wondered what she'd be like during sex…what they'd be like together. If he could satisfy her. But now…he had no question. She had ignited a passion in him that was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He knew they would be a perfect match just as they were in everything else. A fight for control and a willingness to be submissive...the perfect mix of give and take. They would leave their marks on each other. She would take everything he had to give her…and demand more. He would give in to her every desire…she would be able to bend him to her will. He could picture her stretched out beneath him…like he had in so many dreams.

Olivia was grinding her body against him, the denim of his jeans rough against her almost useless leggings. Elliot bit lightly against her skin, in what was most assuredly a protest, and she cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. "Elliot." She rasped out. She dug her nails into the back of his shoulders and he pulled his mouth from her neck. "God…" She arched her back and pushed her hips down again, and she thought she could probably come from this.

Elliot wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her up, putting some distance between their bodies. He dropped his forehead against her shoulder. "Christ Liv." He gasped out. She had been riding him hard and he couldn't let her continue or he was going to embarrass himself. He lifted his head and pushed her back slightly, and she settled lower on his thighs…almost on his knees. She was breathing heavily and he saw the confusion on her face. "I kiss you…" He shook his head. "And I just want…" He paused, and stared at her, willing her to understand what he was trying to say. He had told her they could take it slowly…they had to stop before he lost all control.

She knew what he wanted to say because she felt the same way. "I know." She wanted him too.

"We have to stop or…." Once again, he didn't finish his thought.

 _Stop?_ What the hell? She had no intention of stopping…and from the hard-on that had been pressed between her legs, she knew she couldn't have heard him right. "What?"

"This is…" His fingers were digging into her biceps. "I can' t keep kissing you and…" _Having you grinding against me that way._ He finished that thought in his head.

Olivia's lips parted, but no words came out. Was he trying to do the "right" thing…or what he thought was the right thing? Olivia wasn't having it. They weren't kids and he wasn't married anymore and there was absolutely nothing stopping them except some misguided sense of honor or propriety or whatever he wanted to call it. She wanted to be annoyed, but she knew that's just who he was. She couldn't be mad. She took a deep breath, and leaned forward slightly. "Take me to bed Elliot." She said softly.

"Olivia." He said and he heard the pleading in his own voice. He wanted her so badly, but it couldn't be so simple. They couldn't just fall into bed. It had been barely an hour since they had told each other how they even felt about each other.

Olivia leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly against his. "I want this. I want you." She placed small kisses along his jaw until she reached his ear. "I want you to make love to me." She felt him shudder beneath her and she placed a small kiss on his earlobe. "Don't you want me?" She knew that line would get her what she wanted and a small smile graced her lips.

Elliot grasped her upper arms and pulled her away from him. He looked back and forth between her eyes. "Of course I want you. You know that." He swallowed hard, looking at the flush of her skin and her swollen lips. "I just want you to know that this isn't all about sex."

"So you said." Olivia said. She was on fire and she didn't want to rehash that conversation. "But you said dating and sex weren't mutually exclusive." She climbed off the couch and stood in front of Elliot. "And while I don't usually sleep with someone on the first date…I feel pretty confident that we can skip that step. We already knew everything about each other."

Elliot watched as she unzipped her hoodie and shrugged off her shoulders, letting is slide to the ground.

"So, we can go straight to the sex." Olivia lifted the hem of her t-shirt and she heard Elliot's sharp intake of breath.

Elliot couldn't take his eyes off her. He knew she was talking but her words were barely registering. He knew he was in trouble…that he was seeing an entirely new side of Olivia he hadn't been privy to before. Seductress…temptress…sin.

Olivia lifted her t-shirt and he saw her leggings were resting low on her hips. The only thing he could focus on was the expanse of dark, toned skin. And then she was pulling it up and over her head and he couldn't breathe as he took her in. The deep V of her cleavage…her breasts encased in white lace. His cock was straining at his jeans and he was finding it hard to breathe. "Fuck." He gasped out, and he saw Olivia smile.

"Are you going to make me do all the work?" Olivia teased as she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her leggings.

Elliot lurched forward then, and placed his hands on hers. "No." he gasped out. He wanted to be the one to undress her…but not here. He placed a on the smooth skin right beneath her breasts and he was rewarded with a slight shiver from her. "I just want you to be sure." He whispered before he kissed her skin again.

Olivia placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back slightly, so his lips lost contact with her skin. "I swear to God…" Olivia shook her head. "Do I seem like I'm not sure?"

"I just…" Elliot stood up…his hands never leaving her body. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "You're in charge."

Olivia wanted to laugh. "I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that." She closed the gap between them and splayed her hand across his chest. "I would have taken my clothes off sooner if I would have known that's all it was going to take to hear you say those words." she teased.

"I don't know if I would have been able to handle that." As much as it killed him to think that they had wasted years, he knew without a doubt that this was the right time for them.

"I know. And you wouldn't have been able to." She slid her hands down his chest until she reached the hem of his shirt. "Now." She pushed it up, baring his abs. His body was like a rock and she was couldn't wait to run her hands over every part of him. "Are we done talking? Because this shirt has to come off."

Elliot pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. Olivia's mouth was pressed against his chest and she wrapped her fingers around his belt. She peppered kisses across his chest and he slid his hands down her back. He ran his hands over her leggings until he was cupping her ass, and he squeezed gently. "I've waited a lifetime to get my hands on this ass." He whispered and he heard Olivia laugh. He needed to get these damn leggings off.

Olivia grabbed his belt buckle. "El…" she rasped, and then pressed her mouth against his skin again. "If you don't take me to bed right now…"

Elliot tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her head back, smothering her mouth with his before she could finish her sentence. He drove his tongue into her mouth and kissed her hard. He released her mouth and Olivia swayed slightly on her feet. He wrapped an arm around her waist, and scooped her up in his arms. He was done with trying to slow things down. Olivia didn't have any doubts about what she wanted. And what she wanted was him.

 _Thank God._


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Thanks to everyone for reading this short story! I appreciate the reviews!

EOEOEOEO

Elliot didn't miss a step as he carried Olivia into her bedroom, even though she had her arms wrapped around his neck and her mouth pressed to his. He leaned over and dropped her gently on the bed, getting a small laugh from her. He stood at the side of her bed, and watched as she settled herself on the bed. She propped herself on her elbows and looked up at Elliot expectantly.

His eyes trailed over the length of her body, starting with her pink painted toenails ( _pink?_ ), up her long legs still clad in those damn black leggings, to her breasts…the white lace in stark contrast to her dark skin, and then to her dark eyes, fringed with those long lashes. She was watching him as he took her in, but she didn't comment and she didn't move. He wondered how he had possibly kept his hands to himself all these years. He deserved a fucking medal.

He reached for the buckle of his belt and undid it, his eyes never leaving Olivia's. She let her eyes drop as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and he saw her run her tongue over her bottom lip. He smiled, and wished he had the patience to tease her some more. But he had none. He shrugged out of his jeans and boxer briefs in one fluid motion, and then he was moving towards the bed.

"Stop." Olivia said, pushing herself until she was sitting on the bed. Elliot froze, and now it was Olivia's turn to let her eyes wander. She knew Elliot worked out, but seeing him stripped bare like this…her eyes trailed down his chest, to the deep V muscles in his abdomen, to his erection…long and thick. She let out a small moan, and the throbbing in her lower belly and between her legs was almost unbearable. Olivia scrambled up on her knees and moved to the edge of the bed. She spread her hands against Elliot's chest and ran her hands up and over his shoulders, and down his arms. "I can't wait anymore." She slid her hand down and wrapped her fingers around his cock.

Elliot was running his hands over her shoulders and then he leaned in and whispered into her ear. "You're going to have to, because I'm going to explore every inch of your luscious body." He whispered, and he felt her shiver. "You're going to come against my mouth. With my hands. And then I'm going to fuck you so hard, you'll be screaming my name."

Olivia was surprised…she hadn't expected that from him. She wondered if it was something she had unleashed in him…something that had always simmered beneath the surface. She hoped so…because she was feeling wild and reckless in a way she never had before. She slid her hand down his length and he groaned and grabbed her hand.

"No." he rasped out. He took her arms and twisted them gently behind her as his mouth descended on hers. He released them and slid his hands to the clasp of her bra as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Olivia slid her tongue into his mouth and she was kissing him urgently.

Olivia felt Elliot's hand slide around her back and unhook her bra. He slid the straps down her arms, and it fell on the bed. Elliot kept one arm wrapped around her as he slowly lowered her on the bed, never breaking contact with her mouth. She ran her hands down his back as he slid one leg across her upper thighs, straddling her on the bed. She groaned as Elliot pressed his length against her, and she wanted to spread her legs. She lifted her hips and pulled her mouth from his in frustration.

"Patience." He whispered as he dragged his lips down her jawline. He felt her tense up and he smiled against her skin, wondering what she as going to say. Instead, he was surprised when she raked her nails up his back, and he jolted at the pain she inflicted. He wasn't deterred…he pushed himself up slightly. He'd spent the better part of seven years staring across the desk at her; he wanted to see the breasts that had been taunting him.

His eyes trailed down from her mouth as his fingers trailed lightly across the swell of her breasts. He felt his cock twitch as he looked at the fullness of her breasts…her peaked, dusky nipples taunting him. He slid his hands up her rib cage, and took her full breasts in his hands. He felt the weight of them and squeezed gently before he ran his thumbs over her taut nipples. Olivia arched her back, and let out another moan. Elliot slid one thigh between her legs and Olivia lifted her hips as he pressed his knee against her.

Olivia closed her eyes and threw her head back, twisting her body to try to get more contact. With his hands, his mouth, his body. She wanted it all. She felt Elliot press his knee against her core again and she lifted her hips, gasping at the contact. Elliot slid his other knee between hers, and she felt his hand on her inner thigh, pushing her right leg out and opening her up to him. She still had her leggings on, but they were wet and when Elliot pressed his erection between her legs, the roughness of the fabric only created more friction as he rocked against her. She couldn't stop moaning, and when he took her breast in his mouth, she arched her back again. Her entire body was trembling as Elliot teased her nipple with his tongue, continuing to rock his erection against her core. He was hitting her clit and she dug her fingernails into his shoulders as he bit down lightly on her nipple. She could feel the white heat coursing through her…she was going to come.

Elliot thrust against her one more time…he could feel her body shaking and he slid his cock down to her entrance. He rocked against her again…and the damp thin fabric didn't stop him from penetrating her slightly. He released her breast and replaced his mouth with his hand, flicking his thumb over her nipple again and again as he kissed his way up her neck. "Let go Liv."

Olivia didn't need to hear his words…her orgasm tore through her…and she grasped at his shoulders, trying to find something to hold on to…to ground her. Elliot kept rocking against her and she could feel his hot breath in her ear. "Yes." He moaned. He kissed his way back up her jaw until his mouth reached hers, and he kissed the corner of her mouth as she gasped for breath.

Elliot trailed his tongue back down her jaw and across her chest. He moved down her body, sliding his tongue between her breasts and placing kisses down her stomach. He moved farther down the bed until he reached the waistband of her leggings. He looked up at her and saw her watching him, her chest still heaving as she tried to recover. "Time to get rid of these."

"Yes." Olivia rasped, reaching for him. But he was out of reach. She wanted him to slide deep inside of her…if he could make her come like that… She wasn't able to finish her thought as Elliot tugged her leggings down over her hips.

"Well, aren't you full of surprises?" He asked, when he saw she didn't have any underwear on. He tugged he leggings down to her knees as he took in the sight of her. He pushed them off her legs with his foot and he saw Olivia reach for him. But he dodged her as he settled between her legs, placing open mouth kisses on the inside of her thighs as he pushed her legs apart.

"Gaaahhd." Olivia rasped out. She pushed at the top of his head. She didn't know if she could handle his mouth on her…she was still so sensitive. She jumped as Elliot slid his fingers through her folds.

"You're so fucking wet." He slid his fingers back and forth, knocking her clit, causing her body to jolt with each touch. He moved two fingers to her entrance and teased her. He felt her lift her hips slightly and he slid them inside of her, pressing his thumb against her clit. He pumped his fingers in and out of her as he placed kisses on her inner thigh. Olivia was already writhing beneath him and he could feel her walls clenching around his fingers as he twisted them inside of her. He replaced his thumb with his tongue and Olivia let out an unintelligible string of words as he sucked on her clit. He was fucking her hard with his fingers, and his cock was aching to take their place. He had to take her soon, or he was going to lose it. He had already shown more restraint than he thought possible. But he wasn't going to have to wait long because she was gasping now…gasping out his name and he felt her walls spasm around him, practically expelling his fingers from her body.

Olivia arched her back and grasped at the sheets as the sensations continued to course through her body. Elliot had one hand splayed against her lower abdomen as he pulled his fingers from inside of her. She opened her eyes in time to see him sit up between her legs and slide his fingers into his mouth.

"So sweet." He said, his voice almost a whisper, and he watched her as she tried to recover. Her skin was flushed and glistened with a slight sheen of sweat. Her hair was messy and her eyes were dark and he thought he had never seen anything so fucking beautiful as this woman stretched out naked in front of him. He ran his hands down the outside of her thighs and she shivered, but she didn't move…her energy focused on catching her breath…regaining her senses. She tried to close her legs slightly, and he moved to accommodate her, moving back to straddle her. He leaned over and kissed her gently. "Did I tell you that you are absolutely the most beautiful woman in the world?"

Olivia smiled lazily, and a small laugh escaped. "If you're trying to get me into bed…I have news for you." She said.

Elliot laughed and kissed her again. "I may have you in bed, but I'm not finished with you yet."

"Maybe I'm not finished with you." She pushed at his chest and despite her weak attempt, he fell backwards next to her on the bed. "And I seem to remember that you said I'm in charge."

"You didn't seem to be complaining." Elliot said as she pinned his arms playfully against the bed. She brushed her breasts against his chest as she grasped his lips between hers. She opened his mouth with hers, and slid her tongue into his mouth. The kiss was slow…deep…and he hummed into her mouth. He was lost in the kiss when he felt her slide her slick folds against his cock, and he groaned loudly into her mouth. He was about to rip his mouth from hers…tell her that he couldn't take any more…when she lifted her body slightly and slid down the length of him.

Olivia pulled her mouth from his as she slid on top of him…he stretched her and filled her like no other, and her already sensitive body was trying to keep up. Their bodies connected and she stayed still as Elliot's hands grasped her hips.

"Fuuuuck Liv." Elliot's mind went blank…he was consumed with the feeling of her body wrapped so intimately around him. He was buried deep inside of her, and he felt like their bodies fit together perfectly. "Don't move." He whispered. His eyes swept over her face and down her body as she straddled him. He wanted to pinch himself…to make sure this was really happening.

Olivia ground down slightly and gasped. "El." She fell forward slightly, bracing her arms on his chest. She didn't say another word. She just lifted her hips until he almost slipped out of her body, and then slid down his shaft again. And again. And again. Elliot left his hands on her hips, guiding her. He watched himself disappear inside of her body, her breasts bouncing with each thrust, and it was so erotic. Olivia leaned back, bracing her arms against his thighs as she continued to ride him. She kept up her pace and he wondered where she found the energy after he'd made her come twice. He wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer…the sight of her and the way her body was clutching at him…he'd already showed considerable constraint. He reached up between her legs and found her clit, and he teased her as she slid along his cock.

He was just about to tell her that he couldn't hold on…that he was going to come…when he felt her body start to tremble and she faltered, falling forward. He caught her and she braced her arms against his chest again. She dropped her head down, her hair trailing down against his chest and she gasped out his name as she came…her orgasm triggering his own. He grasped at her hips, digging his fingers into her skin as he released himself inside of her. He thrust up again as he pushed her body down against his…and her walls clutched at him as he rode out his orgasm.

Olivia collapsed against his chest…completely and totally spent. Her muscles ached…her thighs burned…but it was a delicious kind of exhaustion. She felt completely sated…and insanely happy. She was lying on top of Elliot…the man she had wanted for longer than she could remember. He had told her she was beautiful. He had told her that he loved her. And then they had fallen into bed.

Elliot traced his hands lightly up and down her back. He lifted his head and kissed the top of hers. "I love you." He whispered, and he got a small grunt in return. He rolled them over carefully, but Olivia moaned. He imagined she was sore and he pulled out of her gently and rolled over to lay at her side. He pulled her body next to his, and rubbed the outside of her thigh as she slipped it between his legs. "I'm sorry." He said, kissing her forehead as she lay against his shoulder.

"For what?' Olivia said sleepily.

"For everything." He said. "For all the times I took my anger out on you. For the times I should have listened instead of yelling. For not being there for you when you needed me."

"El." Olivia whispered, too tired to lift her head. "What…"

"Shhh." Elliot said. "I need to do this. I'm sorry for not seeing what was in front of me all those years…for the pain I might have caused you."

Olivia lifted her head. "Stop. You don't need to apologize. We can both share the blame. I did my share of damage." She placed a kiss on his chest. "It doesn't matter now. Does it?" she asked as she lifted her head to look at him.

"I just don't want any baggage…any resentment for anything that happened."

"It's all in the past…and it brought us to where we are today. I don't regret anything. We're here now."

"There's no place I'd rather be." Elliot said, running his hand down her back.

Olivia smiled and lay her head on his chest again. "I love you."

Elliot kissed the top of her head. "Forever."

 _The End_


End file.
